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Contributed by
Antoinette Honegan
Antoinette is a registered nurse, having sent nine years in healthcare, she is now spreading her wings into the world of the entrepreneur.  She has set her sights on disrupting our thinking on personal/sexual health hygiene, so watch this space.
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Most of us spend more time at work than we do with our families.

In fact, on average we spend 90,360 hours of our life working. So surely it stands to reason we should expect to be in an environment that doesn’t stifle and demean us at our very core, or is that just me?

I recently read an article called, ‘Employees don’t leave companies they leave managers’ and I thought that’s my reality.  The article stated that 75%(!) of workers who left their jobs voluntarily did so due to their managers and not the position

Moreover, the number of people I could call on that have their tales of woe is more than I could count on both hands.

It then begs the question, why do we put up with it?

I suppose any number of reasons would suffice: job satisfaction, money, security, holiday and sick pay or the painstaking minefield that is job hunting. Some days, it’s that niggling thought that there’s nothing better out there.

I’m now at that crossroad, where familiarity has bred contempt, and I no longer can survive in the toxic environment, which I feel a particular management style has fostered.

So here are my options!

I stay, but how would that work?

I could speak to my manager; after all, she may not be aware of the situation. Of course, that gorgon Medusa is aware, but I’m taking the high road here!  We’d have a respectful, civil conversation; we’d both agree on some boundaries and the best way we could improve team morale, and thus productivity.  You have to mention the buzzword ‘productivity’, or it all falls apart.  I walk away unburdened and rewarded for being proactive.

After all there are benefits to staying in a job that I hate

  • I learn more about myself
    • Loving the hell I am in is not the same as being stagnant and resentful. It’s about taking time to raise my personal awareness, look outside my box and see if there is anything innovative I could do here. Let’s face it, running is not for everyone.
  • Practice the art of choice
    • Not letting the situation dictate my experience might lead to something more when I focus less on the hate!
  • Stop fighting it
    • We all have jobs or roles at one time in our lives that are being done out of necessity rather than love. We stifle our own creativity by resisting and so by focusing more on the wider goal can I be more engaged?

The other option is to go.

Yes, the writing is on the wall, and I would be fighting a losing battle. They were stifling my creativity, and I have long wanted to be a bullfighter; the world is my oyster.  I could take that round the world trip that has been on my vision board for the last ten years.  Who are am I kidding? The reality is after a week; I’ll stop crying into my cocoa puffs and get back out there as I realise there is no end to my transferable skills.

Could there be a third option?

Yes, the nuclear option. I’ve always fancied myself as a samurai warrior; after all, I’ve watched Kill Bill. The scene where O-Ren-Ishii dashes across the table and takes the head of one of her disrespectful bosses seems mighty appealing right now.

Then again that might not be the best plan of action in hindsight, considering I might need a reference.

Leaving or staying is not a choice for everyone and so, I believe one should explore all possibilities before coming to any decisions.

– Antoinette